Usually I wouldnt post about my hubby, or any specifics...but this weekend was just too funny not to share. Of course kids in the mix make things even more interesting but I think sometimes we forget why we started this journey in the first place...
So Friday night, it was a long, and miserable day on my side. Kids were good, but my stress levels were high, plus having GI pain didnt make it fun. So when I am upset or in a mood I just usually grunt or groan to questions asked...He has deemed me the HULK, my nickname is ASHELEY SMASH...reminds me of another nickname deemed in college...but I digress. So when I get in a 'mood' he now says ASHELEY SMASH, which takes my mind off of the situation and I laugh, cause it is funny.
Friday night however I was in another place, ASHELEY-LAND, you must visit. It is the best place, there are no worries, no bills, people are naked, there is no pain, suffering and oh of course it is on the beach. Now I had never really thought much about my delusional fantisies, when I say 'Lets just move and we will worry about work later..." He however has made my ASHELEY-LAND into a real place. I didnt think what it would look like or who would be allowed in...but definately my immediate family, S, T, T and O, of course my neruotic dog would have to be there. Other then that I have a few...prime spots for people, but they would have to be happy-go-lucky...and open to anything and everything. I never really thought about the clothes either, but naked is good. It leaves no room for fighting about what designer brand you are wearing that day...loin cloths and 'booby covers' as my kids would say could be optional. Awesome weather everyday, perfect temperature for watersports. Oh and education would be key, so I would need to find a teacher, open to teaching outside, and about nature, and life...and of course the other stuff. Anyway, I digress.
As he was going on, about he wishes he could visit ASHELEY-LAND, about how wonderful and worryfree it is there, I was laughing. I laughed so hard I thought that baby3 was going to make an apperance. He said to me, this isnt really that funny, why are you laughing. I suppose because no one has ever made my crazy little mind a reality before, or just his matter of fact attitude as he was talking about my 'world'.
Anyway, yesterday he got me going again. We had to do some house shopping, groceries and what not. We went to target and we needed toilet paper. Well the 18 pack was on sale so we bought 2. Oh and we have 12 rolls at home. So after we check out, he says we will just push the cart down to whole foods. I said we couldnt because there is a device that disables the cart once it is taken outside. He didnt believe me, but there is. At Target Annapolis, Md they're carts are equiped with some special locking mechanisim...he saw the sign, we were laughing the whole time, because after all it is just a shopping cart! So we grabbed our toilet paper, and walked through the door. There was a lonely cart that made it 5 feet from the door, he had to, couldnt just walk by it. He had to test it out. I told him I tried, I tried hard, like really carts dont have brains...but he pushed, and pushed and that cart wouldnt budge. Then he said, we could just wheelie it, that might work...LOL
OK, toilet paper. As we are walking, we pass lots of people, it is Sunday evening after all, and people are out because it is a beautiful day. He is carrying 2 large 18 packs of toilet paper. I suppose he noticed people looking at him, or something triggered this next comment. "Man do you think people think we poop(he said a different word) a lot in our house"..."I would think that, if someone bought all this toilet paper, I bet the lady at the check out said to herself, man these people 'poop' alot. Why do they need so much toilet paper"...I had to stop walking I was laughing so hard.
So thats it! We poop a lot. My daughter uses half a roll for pee, none for poop...my son, who knows he is in there a half hour or more, I just leave it alone. Hubby...well I dunno either. If you remember my first post Im in and out as quick as I can...so not too much toilet paper. But everyone poops. Everyone stinks and everyone needs toilet paper!
