Special Agent of M.O.M...

As Sean is on the road again lets recap since June, cause I cant much remember much before this.  June Sean was gone 23 days.  July not much better, don't have an exact date but I do remember he only had 5 days off(not consecutive), and August, don't let me start 22 days so far, and he is gone until the 8th of September.
Yes the joys of being married to my best friend(some days) and love of my life(other days) and a Special Agent.  Special Agent of what I wonder, being gone all the time.  Yes I can vent because I am on the roller coaster ride and its going so fast we are missing, 1, 2, 3 month markers, he is missing 1st days of school, and I am holding down the fort.  I run a extremely tight ship, and really need to let go a little.  My parents ran a tight ship, and look(for those of you who know me well) what happened in HS...college...I ENJOYED my life finally.  I am not enjoying life today, or yesterday.
I have moments I hold onto, like Tates little laugh, or Takoda's constant bubbly outlook on everything, and her bouncy curls or her endless conversations with the air, I hold on to everything Teighan, how really sweet he can be when he wants, and how he really loves, but is afraid to show it in public, how my 1st little boy is almost 7 and growing up too fast.  I hold on to the 1sts, first roll overs, crawling, walking, talking.  I hold on to the nights rushing by myself to the ER or the late night pediatric care with a 104 fever, then myself 4 days later like clockwork getting sick.
I should hold on to my first trip to Hawaii.  I had always wanted to go to Hawaii and Australia.  Once.  I have been to Hawaii every year since 2008. One year twice!  My first trip January 3 or 4 2008.  Sean had to go for work, YES work...and he ends up having work there every year, which is AWESOME!  Anyway I digress, I do this a lot.  Blogging for some people may be about one particular event, but for me, my brain is at a constant whirlwind so sometimes its very bouncy...like koda's curls.
My first trip to Hawaii, I had a 26 month old, or just over 2, and an 9 month old...who was still nursing.  I was determined after my mom changed her mind(we got bumped and our flight canceled and then she jumped and cancelled the flight so they didn't find us another one, and well she bailed)  I was so upset, it was our first Christmas with Takoda and he already missed that, got home on the 28 of December and then had to leave on the 1st of January.  SO, I found myself a flight for 2, Koda was on my lap and my MIL got me a car service to take me to the airport, I was FREAKING OUT, he drove all over the place talking about his new GPS, its was 4am I was already tired as it was the first 6 months on this new position of travelling cop...and the driver is almost going to kill me and my precious children.  YES I said precious, because at this point in the morning they were perfect!
I flew from BWI to Arizona, then to Kona, HI.  It was a long flight, and that's just the first one.  We made it, very tired mom, but we made it. It was a hard trip as Sean worked and was off the resort most of the time and how do you get babies to nap when they're off their schedule and in a beautiful vacation land.  I ate a lot by myself and reflected on this journey I just made, and I decided I would never, ever go on another trip with him while he was working.  What did I do, went to California the next year so we could be together again at Christmas time. Cause that's what moms do, that's what I do.
I have since made this trip 5 more times by myself with the kids, one including last year pregnant with #3 and I plan on making our 6 trip this Winter with a 8 month old again who will also still be nursing. I have been told I am supermom, but I don't hear or believe it.  I am just a mom, like all moms who want to give their children everything and anything in their power and lots and lots of LOVE.
I read a blog tonight that said "dear sweet mom who thinks she is failing"(and I needed it, and I cried and I realized I am doing a good job, cause everyone is still happy and healthy, even the dog) and I decided my blog is for me.  Maybe someone will get a laugh or a cry or I will get an uplifting or motivational email or a call from an old friend, but I shouldn't worry if I offend anyone cause its my blog right?
Anyway, Special Agent has a loose term, I often think of Special Agent OSO, he used to be on noggin, do you remember noggin, its not around anymore.  Did I say special agent, I meant Secret Agent, wait what the heck is Sean, I'm lost.  He is a cop.  I am the special agent.  I am the one, the force to be reckoned with.  As he says, I need to ask my wife, or let me check...because after being gone 2 weeks and getting hit for another trip ending up not coming home, he checks.  What can I say really, NO?  Yeah right, I just hold down the fort, hanging on for dear life to the tent tie downs...
I called my BIL the other day, we talked about a BAT, that flew into the house, MY HOUSE!  Then when I asked to speak with my SIL, he said 'hold on here's the boss' cause yes that is exactly what we are, the BOSS, the SPECIAL AGENT, the SECRET AGENT, whatever it is, we are it. 
We are M.O.M...a secret and very special organization if you are lucky enough to join.  You have a very special initiation ceremony that takes place one special night, only to finalize in a hospital room that ends up with one very precious miracle. Our badge of honor sometimes is hours old, or maybe even day old spit up, or poop, or food or puke, or tears, or marker...Our hair is sometimes messy, in a very perfect way.  Our uniform consists of whatever is the easiest and closest to pull on when running to make the bus.  Usually yoga pants and an old Tshirt, some days we have our professional clothes which may even match. Our weapon depending on the day could be a crying baby, whining child or extremely stressed and tired self that can give the look of death without breaking a sweat. Our boss, we dont have one, well maybe the big guy in the sky, or whomever your deity is. We do things our own way, and we learn every day.  We may break open a parenting book or website in this day of technology, we take notes and we try to do it better the next day.
Our payment, its the best, something only us Special Agent of M.O.M gets...lots of unconditional love, hugs, kisses, tears, boo boos, 1st's, 2nd's 100ths, baby toes, and runny noses and those first words.  We often forget in the hustle and bustle how amazing we are as moms, and I know we judge and criticize ourselves and others...and really we are all the same.  Trying to raise the best little people we can, however we can. Rich or Poor, we are all the same. Loving and hard working, unpaid, and overworked, and at the end of the day extremely, extremely overjoyed and full of happiness.
Today I got 3 kids up fed, 2 off to school, volunteered for lunch, came home played, played some more. Got eaten alive by Skeeters cause I went outside to let my kids play, then I got 3 back into bed only to start over again tomorrow.  But tomorrow will be different cause its not today, and it will be better in some way.
Live, Laugh and Love.