This is hard and thats ok!

So this is hard. This is so hard. SOOOOOO hard.
and...that is ok. Its ok that it is hard.
I don't admit that this is hard. Being a parent, basically a single parent a good 85% of the year is hard. Even being a parent with a spouse that is home every night is hard.
Parenting is hard.
If anyone ever tells you differently laugh at them. They are lying.
They can say, its rewarding, fun, adventurous, but they can not say it is easy. Even today on Ellen, I love Ellen by the way I may have mentioned that before. Anyway on Ellen Jennifer Garner was on, and said something about her youngest, and now that she has 3 she forgets things. I didn't catch it all, but it was her way of saying parenting is hard, even for her who has the means to have all the help she needs.
Its hard in a way that is challenging. Every day something different. A challenge to overcome and another hill to climb. The reward, hugs and kisses, and unconditional love and if you let yourself praise. Praise for getting through another day of 100,000 questions without knowing all the answers. The best part is tomorrow will be here before you know it and there is another hill to the journey, never a flat road, always a bump along the way.
I am a stay at home mom. I am a stay at home mom of 3. My first 2 are 17 months apart. My husband took this job when my Koda who is my middle child was 5months old. It was all in. No gradual step into a travelling job, it was right away. Thursday-Monday, Wednesday to Wednesday. 10 days, 14 days. I think so far our longest trip still is 18days. Which is a long trip don't get me wrong, but I know it cant compare to spouses of deployed men and women.
I have found strengths and courage I never knew I had. I have become more independent and this job has helped me grow in ways I never knew I could. Still some days I have to allow myself to admit this is hard. It is hard to solo parent, to get 3 kids up, to feed them, help them grow, bathe them, get them all back to bed, and at the end of the day just when I need want someone to talk to, there isn't anyone. So it is hard.
I am doing a good job. I am doing the best job with my situation. Not that it is a bad situation, it is just a difficult situation. Because not only am I alone, and lonely like I posted before, and my kids desperately missing their dad, but I miss my best friend. I miss my best friend and my lover.
I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Its only about keep on moving, or keep on truckin...